There must be a reason. After months of planning and preparing, and unavoidable delays such as school closings courtesy of Hurricane Sandy, my brand-new school library was finally open for business and pleasure. (Teachers and therapists had already begun taking advantage of what I have to offer even before the library was fully operational.) Classes would visit in a two-week cycle: half one week, half the following week.
The first cycle came and went and, even though there were some bugs, I think the kids enjoyed the sessions. Teacher feedback was positive, and I began to look forward to the return of the eager readers to my domain.
However, my body sent me a different message. In the past, one or another of my joints has staged a protest (and even, on occasion, sustained an actual injury to justify its malaise). This time, I woke up one morning to swelling, redness, and pain–and no memory of having done anything to cause these symptoms. Dedicated librarian–or foolhardy person–that I am, I went to work for two days despite the discomfort and limited mobility. Only on the third day did I listen to the voice of reason–my husband’s–and stay home. So far, no cause has been found, although I am in for more testing and evaluations in the days to come.
Why now, I ask? When I finally can begin working with the wonderful kids at my new school, and the library sessions are part of the established schedule, it is frustrating that I must postpone class visits after only one cycle! Not only that, it certainly does not send a good message about my ability to function as a capable member of the faculty.
Yet, I am forgetting a few things. My administrator, even though she has high expectations for the members of the educational team (and rightly so), is human. As such, she is aware that our physical selves do not always function at 100%. (And I am sure she remembers that I am often among the last to leave at the end of the day, reluctant to leave anything unfinished.) Further, what has happened–or when–is certainly not my choice. Who would prefer to lie around the house, in pain and unable to maneuver without difficulty, instead of going to a job that is enjoyable and fulfilling? Since I believe that there is a Creator running the world, it is a given that He knows what is best. It is up to me to discover the reasons for what has befallen me–or, at the least, understand that this is for the best. I can only grow and become better for this experience.
I have already seen one silver lining: a relative who has written two novels is paying me to proofread her work–and is helping me to find other “customers.” How fortunate we are when something so clearly opportune presents itself.